How I Beat Binging

It's a regular weekday night, I'm tired from the long day and I feel like I've earned a peanut butter sandwich. So I grab two slices of bread, pop them in the toaster and grab the jar of peanut butter from the pantry. I promise myself just one PB sandwich because it's still a few hours to dinner and I'm starving.

Man, that sandwich goes down well.

I've barely swallowed the last bite before I decide to make another.

Except that it doesn't stop there. The two peanut butter sandwiches might turn into three and suddenly I'm elbows deep in a box of cereal and stuffing my face with stuff I don't even eat.

Does this sound familiar?

Turns out, I had developed a binge-eating disorder.

Before I continue, let me just classify exactly what a binge-eating disorder is: an eating disorder than involves the compulsive consumption of abnormally large amounts of food in a short span of time (say two hours). This generally occurs at a minimum of twice a week over the period of three to six months.

It is not necessarily accompanied by a drive to purge, in fact it is usually not associated with purging at all.

I want to make the distinction between binge-eating, and overeating, since a lot of people tend to confuse the two.

Overeating happens once, maybe twice in a few months and usually surrounded by other people like at a birthday party or at Christmas.

Binge-eating happens a few times a week, and usually occurs as a solitary occurrence, accompanied by feeling out of control, as a sense of compulsion and guilt.

The reasons for developing this disorder, or disordered eating pattern, could be due to a large number of reasons.

1. Stress

2. Emotional or psychological distress

3. Conditions such as anxiety or depression

4. Restricted dieting for a prolonged period of time

5. Biological reasons such as hormonal imbalances

I know that a lot of people can associate with the above list and have normal, regular eating behaviours. I think that is amazing. As for myself, I suffer from three, if not four of the above mentioned list.

That being said, there is no reason to let it continue controlling your life.

I have PCOS, which I have mentioned before on this blog. PCOS is Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. Briefly explained, it means that my male and female hormones are not balanced, my testosterone levels being slightly higher than my female hormone levels.

Along with an increased difficulty of losing unwanted body fat, it also has an marked influence on the occurrence of binge-eating on people suffering with conditions.

Trust me, PCOS is no joke. But I'll chat about that in a later post.

I also suffer from anxiety, and stress (like most other people out there) and I had a prolonged stint with a restricted calorie diet. The diet helped short-term, definitely. Unfortunately, when I tried to ramp it up a little, things went spiraling out of control.

Suddenly I wasn't able to control what I wanted to eat or how much I wanted to eat, or when or where or how...

It was a mess. I was a mess.

And I struggled to get it under control. Like I know so many other people are struggling with it too.

Understanding the side-effects:

1. Weight gain

I'll put weight gain on here first because I know that most of us are probably concerned about this side-effect the most. It's true that there are people with normal weights that suffer from binge-eating, but others like me have experienced the physical side of things, in that there are suddenly rolls where there weren't before, your jeans are a little tighter, and why are you struggling to tie your shoes???

2. Feeling uncomfortable

And I mean everywhere, all the time, not just after you've had an episode. although, does that hurt. Your belly is extended, you don't want to lie down, you don't want to stand up and you definitely don't want to be around anyone.

This discomfort for me extended well into my social life as well. As silly as it seems, I felt that people could tell I was uncomfortable with myself, in my skin.

And the heartburn. Sweet baby jeans, the heartburn was indescribable to the point where I couldn't sleep at night due to the pain.

3. Increased depression or anxiety

This is such a nasty cycle. My binges started as a way to "let-loose" after a particularly stressful day, with the intention of it being a once-off thing. Little did I know that it would soon take over the way I thought about myself, the way I thought about food, my relationships, everything.

I felt so out of control and so guilty that I couldn't stop this. Why couldn't I stop this? Why did it have to be this way.

Naturally there were all sorts of ideas going through my head: I wasn't good enough. I wasn't happy. My relationships was suffering.

The stupid thing was, these weren't issues for me before the disorder had really taken hold. My relationship was great, I was happy, just overwhelmed and having to deal with a few things. But having this eating disorder that suddenly proved so much more difficult to deal with exacerbated any sort of issue that I now had to face.

I didn't want to see people, or deal with people or go out in public. My social life took a massive hit, my relationships took a massive hit, my self-confidence that was already pretty shaky to start off with became almost nonexistent.

4. Influences on other health conditions

Recent studies have found that binge-eating is related to a number of other serious conditions, such as increased blood pressure, cardiovascular diseases, Type 2 Diabetes, and things like migraines and kidney stones, as well as interefering with sleep to cause sleep apnea and insomnia.

Okay, so I think we can all agree that this is a pretty sucky thing to have to endure right?

Let's get down to how we can get over it.

I say "get over" like it's an easy thing, but it takes serious willpower and can take a few months to accomplish.

Things I did:

1. Confide in someone

That someone was my dad. Yes, it's embarrassing and you feel guilty and out of control. Trust me, you should talk to someone. If you need to get medical or professional help, don't hesitate. This is a scary and overwhelming thing to deal with by yourself.

Talk. To. Someone.

2. Understand your triggers

There are things that are going to set you off, whether that's stress, a certain person, a certain situation or a certain food. For me, that food is peanut butter.

Keep a journal on-hand and make a note of things that make you uncomfortable, anxious or agitated.

Then, find a helpful and proactive way to deal with these things or situations. If like me, certain foods set you off, then don't stock them in the house until you are confident that you can have just one spook instead of the whole jar.

If it's stress, take a nap, read a book or find something equally enjoyable and soothing.

3. Listen to Podcasts/YouTube

So many people have gone through this before me, and it took me a while to realise that this wasn't an issue strictly related to me not being able to control myself. There are fitness stars and Instagram Influencers that have dealt with and overcome this disorder. For me it wasn't so much picking up on their tips as much as it was just knowing that they had been where I was, and that they got through it. If they could get through it, knowing how bad I felt and how much I struggled, then I would make the effort.

I particularly enjoyed listening to the Brain Over Binge Podcast by Kathryn Hansen. She is very straight-forward and scientific in her approach and I felt that it helped me enormously.

4. Trust yourself

You're going to do it. You're going to get through this. Even if it takes time, and even if you fuck up once or twice, you'll get back on your feet, wipe the cookie crumbs from your face and try again.

Have patience, have sympathy for your poor body and what it's been through. And realise that you are strong enough to do this. You have it in you to decide whether that third peanut butter sandwich is a good idea.

It doesn't matter if it takes a month or two or six, you'll get there, and you'll be so damn proud of yourself.

So it's a bit of a short and sweet post, but I hope it helped someone.

If you're really struggling, don't worry.

We've been there too. Still messing up, but moving forward.

And you got this.

Cheers,

Tasha

#health #binge #beatthebinge #tipsandtricks #yougotthis